can i say, perhaps, too much May?

freezer bagels, heat wave wine, books that make you look cool

Lifelong East Coaster, former New Yorker, Jewish youngest daughter…whatever origins we want to trace, the act of complaining is stunningly, obviously, lifeblood. I know this, and still, I laugh when I think about the fact that after months and months of London cloud cover settling overhead oppressively, and a winter that felt maybe longer than any other in recent years, like clockwork, the heat has moved in, and I’m…groaning again :). This time, because of climate change! A lack of air-conditioning! A city that isn’t built for heat waves! A different, albeit slightly less dispiriting, but generally more unpleasant, kind of oppressive weather.

May featured a lot of ping-ponging. Those nice, shoulder-season mornings with their stunning breezes and smells of grass. The earned pleasures of again getting to rattle coffee cups of ice, and shrug on airy little tank tops. Oh, life! Can you feel it! Followed quickly behind with immediate whines as I climb the stairs from my cool basement bedroom to our baking hot upstairs. Fusses against the goliath black flies that come in from the window, that during commercial breaks I must brace for with a kitchen towel to then thwack and toss in the trash.

More internal kinds of waves, too. Most notably: both appreciation for and paralysis from having a lot of isolated time. Between a mostly remote day job, a solo writing project I've been deep in, and a city that I'm still finding my people within, there is simply, perhaps, too much of it. Life is usually dominated by the other end of the spectrum: those weeks where you don't have a second to breathe, and you're constantly feeling like you're disappointing someone or something. So, yes, I've been waking feeling grateful, indebted, and roused by this special, current chapter of life: one that looks wholly different and is full of possibility and not much obligation. I'm aware that it's surely fleeting. But then, like the air that stills in a heat wave, that feeling sometimes sours by mid-afternoon. When my caffeine high has waned, and I've been alone with my thoughts for too long and God, I just miss my family and my friends?

Anyone who has moved cities is familiar with the mental math that takes place while settling. The constant stocktaking of your roster of people — the top tier, comfy, sweatpants-on-the-couch friends; the next, more activity-based tier of friends, ones that you might fluctuate with in energy to give to. It's an unhelpful line of thinking, but one that is unavoidable. Sometimes — and I know not only 'expats' and movers are used to the feeling — there are simply the phases when the phone is noticeably…dry, the socializing perhaps a bit surface-level, and the time feels a little burdensome to fill.

Unsurprisingly, this has been top of mind during the time of year when the sun has started to linger. Outside the window in my flat, I now see the last park-dwellers pack up their books, bags, and wines well after 8. The living room is bathed in light even while we watch our evening shows and oh, how delicious is that? But, and I feel it every year, with this shift, there simply becomes so much daaaaaay. There is so much potential and possibility and it’s not just the season of ‘fomo’, but it can also simply feel exhausting to be the one in charge of filling all that time. It’s something you agree to when you start fresh in a new place, but you don’t realize that will likely remain the case for a long while.

I’ve found myself opening and closing my cupboard amid some of these itchy moments. Pondering what jewels I can mine for. Clicking between six tabs at once, flicking through flights I probably won’t book, trips I can’t afford, people I can try and see. Calling my mom on lazy afternoons, pestering my boyfriend with stupid, incessant texts like “there’s a weird bump on my neck lol.” Noticing the restless pit in my stomach slightly dissolve away when I get immersed in a really good book. Or I take a cold swim. Or I try and remind myself again and again that all will happen in due time, and to try and not fret so much. To get out of yourself as much as you can. The ups and the downs are all part of it, and how impressive (and horrific) it is that we get to hold all of them at once.

heat wave scenes from may

—ICYMI—

May’s mid-month post: talking on the phone while peeing on a UTI test strip

Everything I’ve Cooked

Soups, Vegs, and Sides

• Spicy Carrot Ginger Soup (but my favorite part was the lime & chive yogurt stirred into it).

• Arugula, roast almonds, cubed roast sweet potato, and canned black beans made for some delicious repeat salad bowls (covered with some variation of tahini-maple or honey-mustard dressings).

• Simple boiled new potatoes dressed in chives, parsley, olive oil, and salt. No more, no less; a perfect any-season side.

• I didn’t make it myself, no — but my friend assembled the most gorgeous, summery peach, jalapeño, feta, and tomato salad. Perfect for a heat wave. Similar link here!

Mains

• I’ve been making a ton of tzatziki-marinated chicken breasts to put in tacos, wraps, and salads. I love yogurt-marinating (makes for reaaaally tender, juicy chix), but using store-bought tzatziki (lazy) has added a little somethin’ extra. Read on for what I’ve been doing, but here’s something similar if you’d like a link:

  • 1 package of mini, tender-size chicken breasts, dabbed dry with paper towels and covered with a mixture of: 1 spoon of tzatziki, the juice of half a lemon, 1 tsp each of turmeric, cumin, smoked paprika, and kosher salt, and a dash of cinnamon.

  • Marinate in a covered bowl in the fridge for up to 24 hours. Take out 20 minutes before cooking, slice into smaller pieces, and then roast in a hot oven (~200-220/400-450 degrees) on a sheet pan for 15 minutes.

  • Slather a wrap or two with the rest of the tzatziki, add chopped chives and parsley, cucumber, red onion, any cooked veg, and the chicken (hot or cold). Yum.

• Miso paste-slathered roast salmon, eaten alongside almond butter & soy sauce noodles (something similar here).

• A quick and easy box of fusilli tossed with M&S’s tomato basil sauce, crumbled chicken sausage, and frozen green peas, for a childhood-reminiscent, but undeniably scrumptious dinner.

• A giant batch of mushroom-spice tofu (a brick of extra firm tofu dried, cubed, and coated in olive oil, cornstarch, and spice), roasted on a sheet tray alongside diced purple sweet potatoes. Cooled and eaten with greens, and a tahini-lemon-maple sauce.

Sweets, Brekkies, and Baked Bites

• Not made by me, but it’s so simple and natural it could have been! The chocolate-flecked granola from Appleton Bakery, which I bought at the Primrose Hill Farmer’s Market, was a wonderful treat to have all month.

• Clare de Boer’s simple poached rhubarb, spooned onto oatmeal, and Greek yogurt bowls.

• Back on my jammy egg grind. Toasted sourdough with lemony avo, a 7-minute egg, and everything bagel seasoning. Over and over, just like it’s 2016 (and still a perfect breakfast).

• Freezer bagels from Bagel Pub schlepped by my bestie and hand-delivered to me all the way from New York City…! Ran under the tap for a few seconds, put in the oven to thaw and re-steam, sliced and then devoured with UTMOST PLEASURE.

  

Everything I’ve Ordered

• Can I say that the chai latte from E5 Bakehouse is stupid-good? Also tasty: their weekday lunch special of a creamy celeriac soup with cabbage slaw and parmesan chilli breadcrumbs. Mmmmmm.

• Another round of bagels from Paulie’s: this time a halvsies split of the BEC, and the Veggie Delight with jalapeno cream cheese.

• A first try over at local Clapton bakery, Suba. Great savory pinwheel, and good tahini cardamom bun, though I wish they’d gone heavier with the tahini. Sweet little takeaway spot right next to the Overground.

• The evening edition Clapton local: 107, where, before a movie, H & I cooled off with two tart glasses of chilled white, bread, and the freshest plate of asparagus with gribiche & herbs (by summer resident chef Julie Hetyei).

• & while I love 107… I finally went to dan’s, and think it’s my new favorite wine bar around. Had two very different, but equally wonderful, chilled glasses. And while the outside patio is perfect for heat (but hard to snag), inside is a different kind of lovely. Candle wax everywhere, and a limited menu — any season bliss.

• Had a cute celebratory dinner at Café Deco, a very precious spot in Bloomsbury. We didn’t order well (too many little starters, not enough of the sharing plates), but everything was stunning in quality and freshness. My fav: the poached luquot toast with ricotta and mint leaves.

• Went to Benny’s on Broadway Market, and tried my now-favorite Hackney Gelato flavor: Malted Milk. The perfect salty-sweet dessert.

Everything Else

• Tunes-wise, May was about How Can I Make It Okay for walking at dusk, yes baby (shamelessly) for breaking a sweat in my bedroom when I need a dance break, Holy while working, and Supersad for lying in the grass.

• This month offered another reminder that the Hackney Half is the best Sunday in East London. I understand why the bibs sell out in minutes every year! It’s a 13.1 mile party—and no I didn’t run, but I made posters and drank cider and got a headache from the shouting and the crowds and lots of fun was had.

• Dr. Orna on Las Culturistas? Nothing else needs to be said?

• I gobbled up Maeve Dunigan’s Read This To Look Cool because I, too, grew up an overall fearful girl (see: math, being asked to do math, being witnessed doing math). But even if I weren’t an anxious, zillennial, theatre kid, I’d still appreciate the book because it’s so very charming!! It’s out already in the US, and out in June in the UK.

• Yes, it was a fantastic month for memoirs and laughing while reading. I finished Famesick. I don’t usually expect to be utterly engrossed in a memoir, but this was one that genuinely kept disrupting my bedtime schedule. Damn, can LD write.

• And for my return to fiction — Stacey Yu’s debut, Kitten. Very much not the point of this narrative on growing up, mother-daughter relationships, control, and self-perception…but I left with such an irresistible desire to cuddle a kitten and magically cure my lifelong allergy? sos

• Folks, in the year 2026, I’ve embarked on my first-ever watch of Mad Men. Two seasons down, and a near-painful, yet ambivalent attraction to Don Draper later, it’s been a really fun one to immerse myself in.

• My late-stage discovery that the iPhone photo gallery slideshow wallpaper is excellent? Now, sometimes sweet, sometimes deranged pictures of my people appear on the hour, and I adore each of them.

• And I’ll leave you with something else I adored, but that first gave me insane heart palpitations :)

  

Thank you for reading this month’s out-of-season fruit roundup! If you enjoyed it, give it a like or a share. I so appreciate you! And while this newsletter is free… if you’d like to send me a coffee as an extension of your support of my writing, you can do so by clicking below. Love you, xo.